Poetry

Beckons in Silence,
The moments alone, a voice comes out
The tormentor cries out
Painfully I listen -not wanting to
I do anyway
putting myself last and selfishly first- all at once
tearing me down
shutting out others in one swoop of consciousness
I repress
Regret:
A sublet body to a demon
who will never pay rent
destroy the inside
eventually the outside too
How to stop this progress
LOGIC?
Not at all!
Logic said goodbye
when the demon tenant arrived
kick out
revoke the choke-hold
and regain control of life
it’s mine
not his
I say when!
not he,
who feeds me excuses to regurgitate into the world
bulimic of the mind
anorexic of the soul
looking in the mirror to see
body and soul dismorphia
has control
spirit killing
ambition slaughtering
of a me that could be
instead I give in
to the hymn
of self damnation and esteem termination
Hanging from the Cross of my name
given to me by
the father who wasn’t
there
irreplaceable
indispensable
irreverent
belligerent
alcoholic
numb to a daughter
who cries out
but it only echos in the void created by he
The demon snatches my cry
from the air
never letting me feel pleasure
only pain of rejection
for the cry never heard

Head in hands
I weep
Father, I need You
Silence
tears well up
suck it up
dry up
not much to see ’round here
Rent Unpaid
demon stayed
to scared to let go
the demon fills the void
that the father doesn’t
No bridge builder
only ditch diggers

The architect got laid off
and the engineer is too busy
with his math
to notice me standing at the path
with a broken sign that says welcome.

Journal

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